Sometimes, when a couple feels like they can no longer accommodate each other, the solution is always divorce. But in most cases, you find that the issues leading to your divorce are issues that you can work on as a couple.
As a partner, if you feel like you are not ready to go through a divorce because you have invested plenty of your time and energy in this marriage, or you still love your partner, you can follow these tips to help you save your marriage.
- Prioritise your marriage
Marriage needs attention. Your marriage should be your number one priority. You should put some efforts, energy, and time on it. Take care of your marriage just like any of your property because if you neglect it, it might have some negative impact on the both of you as partners. Ensure that you create some time to spend with your partner, or walk to the pool together.
Communication is a vital key to a healthy relationship. In most cases, a lack of communication can cause a marriage to fall apart. Effective communication can make you iron out your differences and handle any problem that you may be facing in the marriage.
Set some time to talk as a couple without the disruptions from TV, children or even work. This will make you concentrate on whatever you are talking about. When talking with your partner, avoid words that might be hurtful or abusive, avoid harsh tone as well because this may convey a wrong signal to your partner.
- Stop blame game
When you feel like your marriage is falling apart, the last thing you should do is to blame your partner. This is not the time to blame each other but to come together and work things out. Whether you partner cheated on you sometime back or said some hurtful words, this is not the time to remind them of those things. This is the time to forgive and forget and work on the things that are making your marriage to fall apart.
- Transparency and Accountability
These two factors are essential in maintaining and saving a marriage. For trust to exist in a marriage, both partners should be open and transparent. In marriage there should be no secrets, the couple should share anything or any information, whether it’s finances, properties, plans, etc.
Couples should also be accountable and admit and apologize to one another whenever they are on the wrong side. This will strengthen your marriage.
- Focus on projects that can bind you with your husband
One of the projects that can bind you with your husband can be improving your home. For example new backyard landscaping and having a swimming pool installed. Or plan a trip together. Think of a destination which you always wanted to visit and start putting the ideas and details together. Planning the itinerary and what to see is a great way of spending more time together and focusing on something you have in common. Think of a guided tour when not sure if you are able to make the best plan yourself.
- Give each other space
Give your partner some space if there is a need to do so. This may help in gathering your thoughts and re-evaluating your relationship status. Being apart from each other for some time can also make your partner reflect on some issues and think of the importance and benefits of having you around. That space can make him “come back to his senses.”
Counseling is essential when a marriage is about to fall apart. It is good to involve a professional in your marital issues if you feel overwhelmed and can’t handle them anymore. If both of you are willing to see a counselor, then you can visit one and get some professional help.